Timeout for Leadership-your one-minute leadership idea

Leadership lessons I learned from my seat on the bench #12

Why do we tolerate people who just cannot get along with others?

This is the second week in a row that I start my article by posing a question which might be very hard to answer. I wish I had a simple answer for you, but I don’t. However, let’s look at some reasons that we let this untenable condition exist and, yes, persist.

I think the biggest reason we allow these people to exist in our schools and other workplaces is because it is just too much work to get rid of them. Firing someone is exhausting and draining. It is a stress producing procedure. Somehow, we want to believe that these people will change, even though in the deep recesses of our brain, we know that for these people, change is impossible. And because we refuse to take on this challenge, we will continue to be forced to tiptoe on eggshells around these people. We will continue to let these malcontents control the culture in the workplace.

I find it ironic that most of the research surrounding educational reform today speaks of collaboration. Collaboration has become our most recent buzzword. That’s right, working with other people with common goals and expectations. Teachers and their unions(associations) clamor for this. And yet, I have found that teachers and their associations become the biggest obstacle for collaboration.

By me uttering the previous sentence, they will accuse me of teacher bashing. I assure you I am not. I am just calling it the way I see it. And by doing this, I set myself up to be tried in the school’s court of public opinion, which is probably the faculty dining room. You know, that same room that is used to trash principals and other administrators.

Of course, there are bad principals who are self-serving autocrats. I get it. But yet there are many teachers who are in the profession for all the wrong reasons. These folks wake up in the morning trying to figure out how to make the school better for the adults and could not care less about the students. Everything that is done in a school should be to make the school better for the kids.

And to do this, one has to truly like children and one must be able to work (collaborate) with others. I can recall one day when I was interviewing a scientist who was downsized by a large pharmaceutical firm and now thought he could be a chemistry teacher. In our interview, I asked a very simple question. I asked if he “liked kids?” The pause was lengthy and his reflection was painstaking. He answered candidly, “you know, I am not sure.” The interview was over. We politely shook hands and went about our business. From that day forward, I made sure I asked the same question to all prospective candidates. To be a teacher, you must like children. Yes, there will be kids that you just don’t like, but you have to deal with them.

And you have to get along with others. Current research suggests that one can judge the quality of a school’s culture and climate by seeing how the adults handle disagreements and conflict among themselves. That is a very telling sign. I have seen many people come to work daily looking for conflict, yes, looking to pick a fight with another adult. I challenge you to ask any teacher about this (in private) and I will bet you he or she will agree with me.

The formula for success is really quite simple. I will assume you have a great attitude and a super work ethic. Now, all you have to do is like kids and get along with others in the workplace.

If it is so simple, why can’t we do it? Now that is the question.