Timeout for Leadership-your one-minute leadership idea
Tip Sheet #68
Do our words really matter?
I threw you a softball with my question this week, of course your words matter. As a matter of fact, I think they matter more than you ever realize.
Several week ago, one of my daughters was visiting and I was just being my normal self when she said to me, “Dad, you know you really sound like those old Muppet guys that are constantly complaining. You even look like them.” I knew immediately who she meant. Yes, I unfortunately identify with Statler and Waldorf. Wikipedia identifies these two fellows as constant hecklers who spew cantankerous opinions about everything. Yes, this could be me. Did the people I work with see me like this?
This interaction really hit home this week when I read Jennifer Gonzalez’ article Let’s Give Our Teaching Language a Makeover(http://www.cultofpedagogy.com)). The article examines the messages that we send to our students by the language that we use. Gonzalez uses some clear examples to make her point. For any teacher that is reading this article I strongly recommend visiting Jennifer’s page. This article caused me to reflect and start to take a look at the language that principals use when interacting with their teachers. (Let me remind you once again that for those of you that are not in education, merely substitute your organization for the school that I may be speaking about).
In summation the article outlines four areas where our language use impacts our students. Namely, well-chosen words can:
- Shape student identity.
- Boost academic safety.
- Build student agency.
- Invite self-discipline and prevent escalation.
Upon reflection, I started to think about how my words over my career impacted my leadership abilities. Also, in Gonzalez’ examples, I stated to substitute the concept of my teachers instead of my students. And for the most part I saw some stark parallels and yes, I identified a bevy of personal flaws.
Words matter! Words matter more than you could ever believe. Your words will also be heard differently by each person. Your words can sting and bite. Your words can build up or tear down. Your words can signal approval and disapproval. How you use your words to your colleagues can be the predictor of success for both you and the person you are speaking to. You get the point. Words are powerful. You must work hard making sure your words will send the right message to the right person.
In Gonzalez’ first example, she explains how your words can help shape your student’s identity. Remember, I will think in terms of a teacher not a student. When interacting with a colleague, by the use of your words, you can help that individual see how they can grow and develop. Your words can encourage that person to think deeply and to perhaps problem solve. And more importantly, you have an opportunity to make that person feel good about themselves. By merely telling that person what to do, you minimizem or eradicate any opportunity for personal growth.
This is hard stuff and will take a conscious effort for you to change your ways. I can recall a teacher coming into my office and begging me, “Ed, please just tell me what to do, I hate the way you are making me think.” Although this response may seem a little comical, it was powerful. By me asking this person to think, I took him or her out of their comfort zone. This response in and of itself is disappointing. This person was not ready to stretch and personally grow. Also, remember that this “thinking thing” can be hard stuff and some people are not ready to embrace it. With this person it would be easy just to tell him or her what to do and move it along. However, when you do this, you are not helping this person grow. You are not helping them shape their own identity. And never forget that part of your role as the principal or the leader of your organization is to help your people grow.
I know for me, it wasn’t always about my words. For me, it was the way in which I spoke them. I will discuss that next week. For this week, the teacher in me is requiring each of you to do a little homework assignment. When that teacher comes up to you this week, most likely asking you to solve a problem, pause and think about the words that you are about to use. Choose your words wisely and with your words challenge that individual to grow both professionally and personally. Good Luck!
