Timeout for Leadership-your one-minute leadership idea

Tip Sheet #57

Stop and listen-Do not marginalize people!

You are the leader.  You are the principal of the school.  If you practice the art of marginalizing people, you are nothing more than a bully!  Please take a moment and reflect upon that thought.  You get some bizarre thrill out of putting people down.  If this is you, I have to question your character.

Most definitions of marginalization point to the concept that you are pushing people into “the margins” of your organization.  Just like the margins of a piece of paper. For the most part useless.  They are there for show and to make what is within the margins look better.  When people are pushed away, their voice and identity are taken.

This bullying behavior is analogous to the group of middle school children practicing excluding others.  You see it in the lunch room when kids prevent others from joining them at the cafeteria table. You see it when a birthday comes around and everyone is invited to the party but that one child.  Your heart breaks for that child, especially if it is your child.  Not to excuse this behavior, but middle school children are growing emotionally and developing socially.  They are trying to find themselves.  The will all experience this growth opportunity and I believe that they will learn their lesson quicker when it is their turn to be excluded.  I am convinced that most of these adolescents will grow up just fine.  But what is your excuse?  You are an adult.  You are supposed to be mature and emotionally developed.  You are the principal or superintendent.  You are the leader.  People are looking to you to be an example.  And yet you still practice this behavior.  Shame on you!

So, let’s take a moment to think about how you marginalize your co-workers, especially those that report to you.

• You do not include them in meetings when it is clearly necessary that they be there. I have seen this up close and personal and this behavior demoralizes not only the person excluded but those that are around them.  They will start to think, when will it be me that is excluded?  And if you manage or lead by fear, you will not be managing or leading long.
• You refuse to listen to them. You either ignore them or you are curt and dismissive.  When they speak, you shut them down and more likely embarrass them.
• You play favorites. You only listen to a select group of people.  You communicate this daily in what you say and by your body language.
• You discriminate. It can be both covert and overt.  How do you work with your young or older employees?  How do you work with men or women? How do you work with different racial or ethnic groups?  Are there differences?

I do not believe the process of marginalization is an unconscious process.  As a matter of fact, I think it is the exact opposite.  You know when you are doing it and you know how hurtful it can be.  In some bizarre way, you enjoy this.   I have personally seen this in action and I can tell you that it is abhorrent.  And yet you continue this behavior which is torturing.  Ignoring and isolating are behaviors that inflict this torture.

If this is you, change your ways.  You are not leading, you are belittling, and nothing good can come of this behavior.  You are just being that big school yard bully.

Stop it and stop it now!