From Idioms to Education

Idiom #9

 “Give someone the cold shoulder”

As a leader, how do you show your approval of someone?  In all likelihood, you do this by positive words, your body language or maybe just a smile or a nod of your head.  On the other hand, how do you show your disapproval or unhappiness with someone or something that he /she did?  Do you “give them the cold shoulder”?  Do you ignore them?  Do you pretend that they do not exist?  If this is the way you handle your disappointment with someone, I strongly suggest you find another method.

This not so subtle rejection, can do immeasurable harm to the person’s emotional well-being and can seriously damage their productivity on your team.  It is not my purpose to delve into the world of psychology today, but merely point out the damage that can occur by “giving someone the cold shoulder”. Do this often enough and the person will turn his /her rejection into withdrawal.  Most people seek to please the “boss”.  They want to do the job correctly and many times the only reward that one may receive is the approval of the boss.  Withholding this acknowledgement or approval can very quickly stifle the person’s motivation and desire to succeed.  At the end of the day, not only does the person suffer, the entire school or organization suffers when individual productivity declines.

What effect does using the “cold shoulder” methodology have on the culture of the organization?  The positive culture of the school is critical for success.

Address your issues with the person directly.  Clear the air as soon as possible. Do not let the situation fester.  No matter how serious the issue, nothing will ever be solved by “giving someone the cold shoulder”.

My advice transcends the workplace.  Apply the same rules when dealing with your significant other or children.  Just think of the damage caused when you withhold approval and give your child the “cold shoulder?  It could be irreparable