Timeout for Leadership-your one-minute leadership idea

The Principal Coaching Clinic #17

Where are all of your mean girls (or boys)?

Last night I walked into my mother-in-law’s house and was blasted.  She accused me of bashing and hating all secretaries.  Thankfully, my nephew was there who teaches in a large urban district and he knew exactly what I was talking about.  I explained to my mother-in-law that I do not hate secretaries. For God’s sake, my mother was a school secretary for 25 years. And yes, I was able to see firsthand her strengths and weaknesses. Quite the contrary is true.  I respect and admire most secretaries and feel that they are probably one of the most underappreciated groups in our schools.   Today’s blog is not about secretaries. It is about what you can do as the school leader to help make sure your message and the message of the school is being delivered.  The correct message.  The positive message.

Your secretary must be one of your most important school ambassadors and unfortunately as I travel to many school districts, I do not find this to be a fact.  First of all, you must train your secretary to deliver the message that you want to deliver.  And then, very simply hold them accountable.  When you see or sense something is just not quite right, you need to address it.  Many times, I would let unacceptable behavior pass because I did not want to have some sort of conflagration on my hands which would paralyze the office.  I was wrong.  You must address it immediately.  There were times that I felt as though I had to tiptoe on eggshells in my own office and school rather than ruffle the feathers of this person.  That is no way to operate.  Primarily you must hire the right person.  Regardless of any skill set, this person must be able to get along with people.  This person must be a true people person.

Well beyond your secretary there probably exists a covert or overt set of people that are the “mean ones.”  They want you to fail and the school to fail.  These folks thrive on negativity and really do exist on the “dark side.”  Why they choose to live in the “dark side” is a story for another day (or my next book).

The dark side may exist in your faculty dining room, your faculty lounge, the parking lot or an unsuspecting classroom.  I can recall visiting a school and walking into every classroom This was a mid-day visit and when I entered a room, there was a group of teachers having lunch.  I was probably the topic of the “bitchin” that they were engaged in.  You know the feeling when you walk into a room where you are not supposed to be.  They were more shocked and mumbled to me a brief hello. Once in the hallway I wondered about what or who they were really talking about.  Should I have asked?  Should I have addressed it right then and there?  I will let you decide.

These “mean boys and girls” cannot wait for a new hire.  I have seen them either graciously induct them into the dark side or attempt to torture them out. Once again you can do something about it.  You must set up a school onboarding process to minimize this effect.  Place the new person in a location surrounded by positive people.  The good does rub off.

The new person or the not so very strong-willed veteran is easily intimidated and will be afraid to ask a question or even be in the presence of these people.  They become victims of the situation you allow to exist.  A better question might be to ask yourself, are you one of the mean boys or girls?  Principals are not immune.  Are people afraid to come to you with a question or advice?  Do some self-reflection to answer that question and personally do something about it.

The question I pose to you today is how do you disempower these people?  Because if you do not, they will ruin you and your school.  The mean boys and girls hide in every nook and cranny.  Watch your specialized places like the school’s media center/library, technology centers and special subject areas like the art or music room.   Watch where these folks cluster at meetings.  Can you change your style of meetings to help break up these cliques?  Think about that.

At the end of the day, poison is poison.  You can have the fast-acting killer or the slow drawn out killer.  The mean girl/boy concept is a cancer and somehow you must treat it as such.  Sometimes I think it is better to have the fast-acting poison or the quick killing cancer.  You or your school will not suffer as badly.

If you do not remove or shrink the tumor it will kill you. If you do not have the antidote for the poison it will kill you.  I am convinced as the school leader you can do something about it.   Never forget this.