First Year of Teaching / Leadership / Best Practice

Are you “that” teacher?

 This past weekend I had the wonderful experience of going to see a group of mostly middle school aged children perform instrumental musical selections at a local mall.  As they were setting up, I focused my attention on the instructor, his activities, and the way he interacted with the students.  Needless to say, I was quite moved at what I saw and felt a need to share.

It was clear to me that there was a very special type of relationship established between these youngsters and the teacher.  They followed his directions, knew what they were supposed to do, and completed all of their pre-performance tasks in an orderly way.  All of this was done in a very hectic, noisy, and distracting shopping mall filled with holiday shoppers.  Throughout this process, I watched the instructor haul and set up heavy equipment, interact with each student individually, talk to many parents as they arrived, and gather the group together to share some final pre-game reminders and provide that final pre-game pep talk. All of this was done with a smile on the face of the teacher and a smile and laughter on the face of the students. There was never a voice raised.  Additionally, he had to handle minor distractions such as forgotten music, instrument repair, chair arrangement, and ensuring enough electricity for the ensemble. He did this all calmly with a very happy demeanor.

It was obvious to me that for these youngsters this teacher was “that teacher”. In my career, I have seen this over and over again.  This obvious connection most often occurs with the band or choral director, dance teacher, theater teacher, yearbook advisor, or athletic coach.  I have also seen this type of rapport with an Advanced Placement Chemistry teacher.  Many times, I had to escort this group out of the building in order for the night crew to clean.  In all of these cases, let us not forget that these teachers put in all of these hours for very little or no extra compensation.  They sacrifice their own personal lives and that of their families for their students.  The teacher spends many extra hours with their students.

I would bet that for everyone reading this article we became educators because of a relationship that we had with “that” teacher while we were in school.  I know for me it was a music teacher and a specific athletic coach.  These individuals had more career influence on me than my parents or any other adult.  And I am happy to say that I came from a family of loving, caring, and perhaps overly involved parents.

So how do you become “that” teacher?  You know the special teacher that becomes the very significant adult in a young person’s life.  Although most times it is unsaid, you possess the following qualities:

  • You are truly interested in the them.
  • You are there for them when perhaps no one else is available.
  • You listen to what they are saying.
  • You provide direction and support and at times are demanding and tough when you have to be. But you are also forgiving and supportive.
  • You are honest with them.
  • You are trustworthy.
  • You are friendly and compassionate.
  • You are willing to give your time.

I also argue that most teachers never realize that they had become “that” teacher to any individual student.  I will also argue that they never set out to become “that” teacher.  It just happens.  For each student and for each individual teacher, it is probably a very different experience.

For me, it was the teachers who nurtured my desire to be successful on a given task.  They treated me with respect.  They put the extra time in, and they provided me very positive feedback.  I would have run through a wall for these teachers. I can also easily recall after all of these years the personal devastation I felt as a sixteen-year-old student when my coach, who was “that” teacher, left prior to my senior year.  I also vividly recall and still feel sadness and loss to this day when I found out as an adult that one of my special teachers was nothing but a big fraud who deceived each one of us and actually turned out to be a monster.

I also share the story from someone very close to me that a ninth-grade Algebra teacher was that person for her.  This teacher allowed this student to come before and after school, during lunch and free periods to help her in her room.  The student was allowed to grade papers, to do organizational chores, and really just be there.  In turn, this teacher talked with her, respected her, and was a stable guiding force at an age when every child needs an adult.  For this student, at this time, her home life was in a bit of an upheaval and this teacher provided the needed stability in this student’s life.  The impact that this teacher had on this student was significant and remarkable.  And it helped shape her and guide her.

Many years later, I shared this story with the teacher.  Not surprisingly, she never knew or realized how important she was and that what she was doing was anything special.  The teacher was just being herself.  That is who an educator should be.

Maybe that is the moral to this story.  As teachers, coaches, directors, or principals we never realize the impact that we have on students.  In many cases these are life-altering relationships.  Although one might argue, that you are either that person or not, I will argue that you can personally work on some of the qualities mentioned above.  You also can’t force this relationship.  It has to just happen.  I encourage you to be honest, listen, do the extra, and just be there for your students.  You could be a life changer or maybe a life saver!!