Timeout for Leadership-your one-minute leadership idea
Tip Sheet #6
Can it be repaired?
Last week I spoke of the consequences of “beating people up” in the workplace. I focused on the deleterious outcomes to both parties, namely the one who is doing the damage and the person who is the recipient of the damage. This week, I want to take a look at seeing if the damaged relationship can be repaired.
I would like to start by thinking optimistically and saying that I want to believe that the relationship can be repaired. Although thinking like an optimist on this point I am also a realist and know that there are times that the relationship is irreparable. In these cases, you are limited to two choices, namely to try to make the situation bearable or leave your job. I am not stupid, and I know most people cannot just pick up and leave. You must learn to manage the situation to make it livable.
Thinking optimistically again, I would like to hope that both people want the relationship repaired and I know this is not always the reality of the situation. Remember that some people, especially some bosses love being the bully.
Amy Gallo in a 2014 article entitled, Fixing a Work Relationship Gone Sour, published in The Harvard Business Review sums the situation up nicely. She suggests the following:
- Recognize what is happening
- Give up on being right
- Look forward, not back
- See the other person’s perspective
- Find neutral ground
- Reestablish trust and reciprocity
- Involve other people
I recommend you take a look at the article. It is a good read.
Lastly, I would like to emphasize that you can’t go backwards. Words that have been said can’t be “unheard”. That is one reason you must be very careful in what you say in a heated emotional moment. Trust that has been violated and will take time to restore. The restoration of trust will be in small incremental steps.
In these situations, the relationships have deteriorated over a long period of time. It will take time to repair them. Be patient. Be open. Be honest and be accountable. Good luck.
Gallo, Amy. (2014) Fixing a Work Relationship Gone Sour. Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2014/08/fixing-a-work-relationshp-gone-sour.
One response to “Leadership”
If my thinking is correct and this article is pointed towards leadership, then the leader would be at odds with subordinates. This gives a distinct advantage to the leader as most employees hate the notion of being at odds with their superior. If he or she is skilled enough at the art of cultivating healthy relationships then the task will not be as daunting as one might expect. I suggest only one rule to guide your behavior “be fair.”