Timeout for Leadership-your one-minute leadership idea

Leadership lessons I learned from my seat on the bench #10

Why do some people get a pass?

The other day I was doing an evaluation of a middle school and one of my tasks was to lead a conversation with a group of students. It amazed me to see the insight that these twelve- and thirteen-year-old students showed.

One young lady asked me what on the surface may have appeared to be a rather straightforward question. She asked me, “why do some teachers get a pass at being rude?”

I stumbled through my answer and bamboozled her with some bull. I bet she was smart enough to see through it, but I haven’t stopped thinking about the question.

No, I am not picking on teachers. We can take her question and merely ask why do some people at work get a pass for their inappropriate words and behavior. Her question transcends schools and one can apply it to any workplace. And I think the answer rests in the overall culture and climate of your workplace. Where there is a positive culture, you have less of this rude behavior. I could end the discussion there, but I think it is important that I dig deeper.

So, let’s look at some answers I have come up with after giving this question some deep thought.

• The “old boys’ network.” Of course, it exists. These “old boys” feel that it entitled them. The membership in this unofficial, yet deeply rooted, club allows them to get away with anything. They somehow think their comments are funny. They will laugh with each other or gleefully celebrate their put downs to themselves. These folks never realized that words hurt and they have little regard for the impact of these words. This entitlement allows them to basically do or say anything that they want.
• Some are just disrespectful. These folks do not respect themselves, so how do you think they will respect others? Their behavior in the workplace is like a dangerous, out-of-control driver on our highways. They care little about the chaos they cause of will care very little if they cause a crash. (As long as it was not them in the crash.)
• Some people crave power. Ok, I have it and you don’t. And will never miss an opportunity to show that I possess some sort of power over you. Some teachers become teachers because they can be the king or queen of their classroom. I will not leave out principals and other administrators because some of them only crave power, too. They can be the king or queen in the entire school. I am convinced that some police officers become police officers because of the power that comes with the job. They can give me a ticket or arrest me. And sometimes, they can shoot me and get a pass on that. Power can corrupt.
• Racism, sexism and homophobia. Let’s not kid ourselves. Some are rude to others because they may not look and behave like themselves. These same folks feel this need to put anyone who does not look like them down. I learned in my group discussion that most teachers and administrators are ill prepared to deal with students with any LGBTQ lifestyle. We need some immediate PD in this area.

You will probably come up with some more ideas on how to answer this young lady’s question. Yet probably the biggest question that I have been thinking about is why do people that have the power to correct this behavior ignore it? Every adult can chip away at this behavior when they hear a rude comment. Address it. When one hears that rude joke, don’t laugh about it. When one hears words that hurt, address it and provide some words that may heal.

This rude behavior occurs because the culture of the organization allows it to happen. And because each person in a school organization is responsible for the establishment and maintenance of the organization’s culture, each one of us can address it.

And to all the principals and administrators that read this, you can stop it and you can stop it quickly. I challenge you to break up the old boys’ network. Stop the entitlements. Whether you realize it, I am sure that you have created a group of teacher alligators who are truly insatiable. They must realize that others need to eat, too. Hold people accountable for the hurtful things that they say or may do. Provide the proper professional development to your staff. And maybe, most importantly, listen to your students. Your students are the ones that hear it and are usually the recipient of this rudeness.

Sometimes the adults in a school may feel that there is little that they can do regarding standardized test scores, student attendance, student dress, or even disruption. Although I do not agree with that assertion, I know there is something we can do about this unchecked rude adult behavior and we can stop it now if we want to. We can simply not tolerate it. It sounds so easy, doesn’t it?