Timeout for Leadership-your one-minute leadership idea

Op-ed #6

What annoys you?

Fact:

Some behaviors and yes, some people annoy you. 

Discussion:

Okay.  Some people just annoy you.  Just like that mosquito, some people can be real pests. Stop kidding yourself, some behaviors just flat out piss you off.  You have tried to ignore them.  You have tried to avoid them.  Let’s face it, they make your work life miserable.  I think it is time that you stop ignoring and avoiding these behaviors and deal with them. You will feel better and you may in fact change the behavior that torments you.

Let’s identify the top five behaviors that drive me crazy.  Namely:

• Pouting and sulking-You have a conversation with someone and it doesn’t go his or her way.  He or she will walk away with the face of the spoiled child and now he or she will ignore you. When you see him or her, you will get that pouting angry face.  This could go on for weeks and months.
• Rolling of the eyes or sucking of the teeth-These behaviors usually follow -up the pouting.  Your worker cannot hide their disappointment or disagreement and now you visibly see or hear his or her reaction.  Perhaps this is the pinnacle of immaturity. In many ways, all of these behaviors reflect petulance and immaturity.  You have people that are used to getting his or her own way.
• Constantly looking at / using at one’s phone-You stand before your administrative team and see nothing but the top of heads as your group stays buried in his or her phone.  He or she is not that important.  Whatever he or she is looking for can wait.  Be careful, I have been facilitating meetings when individuals were texting back and forth making fun of me.  And then we will sit and wonder why we can’t “win.”
• Interrupting-For some people you cannot finish your thought when he or she will interrupt telling you his or her idea which he or she believes is much better than yours.  I would like for these people to hear my thoughts before he or she puts my ideas down.
• Rushing out of the door at the end of the day-Inasmuch as I was a principal and superintendent of schools, I used to cringe when I would see people run out of the doors almost trampling exiting students to get to his or her car.  What could be so important to cause this exercise?  I was amazed when I took over one building to find faculty lining up at the office door to sign out.  The lines would stretch down a long hallway.  Was the culture of the school that bad?  (Of course, it was.  It took a while to change this behavior.)

The preceding was my list for the day.  Of course, this could change by the minute.  The behaviors might be unacceptable to you but nonetheless they exist.  How you go about changing these behaviors is the critical issue.

I have ignored the behaviors.  I have spoken with the person.  I have yelled at the person and yes, I have fired people because of his or her annoying behavior.

What I probably never did was use the training that I had received many times over during my career.  It involves using some active listening skills and putting into words to that person how their annoying behavior makes you feel. He or she must understand how their behavior negatively impacts you and others.  You should also share how his or her behavior impacts the success of the team.

When you and the culture of your school or organization gets to that point you have chance of success.  Otherwise you will keep spinning your wheels and getting angry with no relief.  Good luck!