Timeout for Leadership-your one-minute leadership idea

Tip Sheet #34

No

No!   Such a simple word.  Two letters, one syllable.  Then why is it so hard for school leaders to say.  I have found that most principals have a very hard time saying “no.”  I know I did.

I think part of the problem goes back to an inner desire that we want to be liked.  But for me, I think the main reason I was reluctant to say no, was my concern about the consequences of this no.  In other words, it became easier for me to say yes to a request that to deal with the emotional fall out of the no.  Once again, and I have said this before in previous blogs, I consciously chose expediency over perhaps doing the right thing.

When your financial accounts are running low, it should be easy to say no to a purchase request.  Likewise, when staffing is an issue, a request for some time off should be met with an easy no.  In all likelihood your staff knows these situations and barring an emergency should not have even asked.  Yet they do.  You are making your decisions based upon what is right for the organization at that specific time.  It is important that you share your rationale with the requesting person.  I think they are entitled to an honest and transparent answer.

However, I think your staff also has to understand that the yes or no answer is not a one-way street.  People must understand that it is easier to find a way to say yes to a person that you know will say yes to you when you have an out of the ordinary request. For example, how many times have you been asked by a person to leave early for perhaps a very legitimate reason.  You go the extra to make this happen.  A week later, you ask the person to stay late or come back at night for a specific reason and you are met with a succinct no.  I have found that people very quickly get that convenient disease of amnesia.  This amnesia is selective and usually very self-serving.  I got better at reminding people of this two-way street later in my career.  Your culture and climate must be built on principles better than the concept of “what is in it for me?” (both the principal and staff person)

When making these yes and no decisions, the principal must be very concerned about the climate and the impact your decision will have on it.  Also remember that you cannot always say no because people will quickly disengage from the job.  If these staff people were at one time on your team, they will segue off of your team.  If they are not on your team, they never will join.  The principal needs that critical mass of staff on his or her team.  You can never forget that.  You need your army!

Of course, you should give the legitimate reason for your answer but do not be so quick to apologize.  You are doing your job.  This is another example of the balancing act that you must navigate as a principal.  Namely, balancing what is good for the individual versus what is good for the team.

Time and time again it all reverts back to the culture of your organization.  In a positive well-defined culture where people are mature (both the principal and the staff) the no becomes part of the day and it is not a big deal.

Oh, if it was only that easy.  Good luck.